Bittersweet

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.  And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity."

- From The Alchemist -

(Personal Photo: Please do not copy without permission)

"Bittersweet"

I've been dreaming in color

Magenta sunset clouds

Silvery purple snowfall skies

But in real life, it feels like black and white

Like ancient times

Since we've shared laughter or songs

Brief walks, long talks

Sincere thoughts not comprised of

Phrases like Band-Aids

A temporary fix

Serving only to sugarcoat

Not to heal wounds beneath the surface

When do moments become memories,

And memories just scrap paper?

A box that was once a treasure chest

Now piles of letters and photographs

My head's in the future

My heart's in the past

And the Present, is a no-man's land

It's like playing pretend all over again

Adapting a child's imagination

To fit this time and this space I am faced with

A bittersweet taste when clichés 

Are taken down like coffee

Forced to swallow a stronger and darker reality

But you know what they say...

Better than never having experienced love

Is to have loved and lost

But a person isn't like a doll

There's no price tag defining his value or worth

No space in closets or drawers when there's unbearable hurt

To store, until needed, that love and comfort...

Yet perhaps the sentiment isn't all that different

After all, we create meaning

And attach significance

And in the midst of change, we find our constant

And over time, we outgrow objects...

And sometimes, people, too.

Lessons aren't always learned inside classrooms

Where we learn how to deliver well-rehearsed lines

But not how to convey and describe

The joy or heartbreak one has brought to our lives

Where we're taught basic rules of arithmetic

But not how "1+1" doesn't always equal 2 elements

When "1+1" can still feel like loneliness

And where we memorize bonds and chemical properties

But fail to comprehend human chemistry

The strength of connections as they ebb and flow endlessly

Sometimes God's the best teacher

And the universe, the best setting...

We walk toward forgiveness

But stumble on forgetting

All the pain that's bottled up

And stored at room temperature

That lingers long after we thought it was empty

Hollow like my heart feels

Though I know my soul is whole, and it longs to heal

I've been dreaming in color...

Gazing into familiar eyes

Hearing a voice that once evoked a smile

And now echoes in the distance

As I awake to sunlight

And await the vibrant colors of a new life.