Because You're Worth It

"But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?"

- Albert Camus -

Despite the title, this isn't an advertisement for L'Oréal Paris, but it is an endorsement of an approach to life marked by confidence and contentment.

Self-confidence, in its healthiest and most optimal condition, should come from within. It shouldn't be derived from the words and actions of other people. *Disclaimer: This is not to say that it is bad to be appreciative and appreciated. That would be a ludicrous remark to make. As a Muslim, and even just a human being, I feel I have a duty to show compassion, affection, and respect toward loved ones.* My main concern is that sometimes we begin to rely on others for validation or for a measure of our own self-worth. We yearn for social approval, for compliments, for any indication that we are valuable.

But how can we be at peace with others and the world around us if we're not at peace with ourselves? For me, self-worth is practically synonymous with inner peace, or at least it's rooted in this concept. If you're content with yourself and able to accept the blessings and challenges (which are often blessings in disguise) present in your life, then you start to see past worldly disappointment and to feel self-assured. 

I know, I know - I'm downplaying the hardship that might be involved in this process. Constantly searching for reassurance from outside sources can leave one feeling tired, frustrated, and distraught. But maybe, in a strange way, looking to others to gauge your personal worth is taking the easy route. You try to appease or impress them, and you become a product, or a victim, of society's standards. Maybe the harder road to travel on is the one that directs you toward God and the art of doing things solely for God's sake. But once you do this - once you accept what you've been given and use these things to better yourself and the world - the burden you bear is lightened. This is what my poem entitled "Refuge" was really about: Fighting against what's meant to be, trying to change certain life circumstances that are beyond my control, and becoming preoccupied with trivial, temporary things... until I seek refuge in my faith and discover the beauty of peace that comes attached. Until I feel okay with myself (imperfections and all).

But this isn't just a message with particular religious connotations. Christian, Muslim, Jew, Hindu, Buddhist, Baha'í, Agnostic, Atheist. We've all experienced this inner struggle. We've felt pangs of jealousy at another's appearance or good fortune; we've desired praise or recognition for a job well done; we've longed for that person to tell us that yes, they miss us, too. And many times, our expectations may fall short. We're not perfect, so we will surely disappoint and be disappointed. But we shouldn't focus on the crisp, green grass we think lies on the other side. We must admire the rose garden in our own backyard -

Perhaps the one we didn't even notice was there.

Embrace.