A Bucket Half Full

"We're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."

- Oscar Wilde -

Is the glass half empty or half full?

We've all heard this expression from time to time - a kind of metaphor for one's outlook on life. I, for one, have decided to adopt the half-full philosophy. In high school, I discovered that I was prone to stress and anxiety. But over the years, I've learned that this worrying is usually unnecessary. Maybe the world didn't end in May, and maybe it won't for thousands or millions of years. Maybe my life won't end as the earth is swallowed up whole, but as I'm driving, lying in a hospital bed, or sleeping comfortably at home. The point is: We don't know exactly when or how life ends, and we don't need to. All we need to know is that we've been given this precious chance to live and should make the most of it.

As a Muslim, I believe in the afterlife, but I recognize that we all have different conceptions and accept different interpretations depending on our faith, and some of us may not accept the notion of the Hereafter at all. So whether you believe in a Higher Power, in raw science, or in the good of humanity, I pray that we have many more healthy years to come and propose that we live these years to the fullest. So here's a draft of my personal bucket list, but one created out of hope and optimism. Dare I say, a bucket half full. 

Train for a half-marathon.

I like staying in shape, but college has made it difficult at times. I danced and ran track for years, so physical activity was a regular part of my schedule, but now it's hard with classes, papers, volunteer work, student organization meetings & events, and until recently, my research position. A half-marathon would be an accomplishment and a way to stay healthy - physically and mentally. 

Spend the rest of my life in love.

I don't care about diamonds or lavish gifts and getaways one bit, but I am a hopeless romantic when it comes to affection. I want to marry someone who's my best friend, and I want to have a real love in an idealistic way. What does that mean? It means that I want a love where the two of us are imperfect and have to endure trials, but our love is what enables us to overcome any obstacle.

Make the Hajj.
This pilgrimage is a duty upon every Muslim who is physically and financially able. It's the ultimate spiritual journey, in a literal and metaphorical sense. I want to be left in awe by the tangible presence of God and the company of diverse Muslims from all around the world. 

Become bilingual. 
Okay, so this is strictly wishful thinking. I doubt I will ever be bilingual; however, I would like to be very proficient in another language. If I consider all my semesters of French, they amount to almost 4 years, but I fear there aren't enough avid French speakers running around to allow me to maintain the level I was at this year. Est-ce que j'aurai une chance? Peut-être... 

Master patience. 
"So lose not heart, nor fall into despair, for you must gain mastery if you are true in faith." (3:139)

Travel to Santorini, Greece and dip my bare feet into the Mediterranean Sea.
The unmistakable white architecture and the pure, teal water. I've seen it countless times in photographs and on movie screens, but I want to experience the beauty for myself. France, Italy, Thailand, and South Africa are also on my list. World traveler in the making?

Touch someone's life.
I've always known that I want a career where I can help others. For a long time, that meant becoming a teacher. Having been convinced that secondary education was my path, I found it a little unnerving when I had a change of heart shortly before coming to college. But now, as I continue to delve into psychology and religious studies, I've realized that my dream of helping others can take on a different form: mental health counseling and social work. I hope to earn a Master's of Social Work after I complete my undergrad and begin a career where I can exercise empathy, experience diversity, and gain intrinsic satisfaction for helping another person.

Perform a poem.
Over the years, I've dabbled in songwriting and poetry, but experimentation with slam poetry has been a recent phenomenon. If I can muster up the courage someday, I'd like to share my artistic expression with others. 

Forgive.
Not just let it roll off my back and pretend that I don't care about it anymore, when really I'll remain bitter for months or years. Actually forgive. Accept. Let it go... and not let it creep back into my mind or my heart. A little laughter and forgiveness may be the best remedy for a broken soul.

Make my house into a home.
I adore that indescribable "homey" feeling, and my future house must possess it. Along with some paintings, scented candles, really comfy couches, and my piano, I want there to be that warmth present - you know, the kind that surrounds you as you snuggle up with a good book or movie, listen to rain or watch the snow fall, and just spend hours in the company of your loved ones.

Write a book. 
I like words and the feelings they elicit, and I like things that make you reflect. I'd love to put together a book of short essays drawn from and inspired by life experiences. Something that's real, like a memoir, but that doesn't make me sound nearly as self-important. I'm not looking to write some autobiography because that doesn't interest me, and I doubt people would want to read it; instead, it would be cool to write about things I've learned. Maybe a little bit like this blog. If I ever tried fiction, it might be something similar to Jhumpa Lahiri's (I love her!) collections of short stories. But I don't know that I have the talent for fiction...

Teach my kids about courtesy and acceptance.
Faith is important. So are trust and communication. Know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and know that I think you're beautiful just the way you are. Never be afraid to stand up for what you believe in, but always keep an open mind and agree to disagree. Accept and respect others because God is the only rightful judge. Oh, and rudeness has no place in this home or world, so for goodness' sake, have some manners.

Embrace.